Dear one,
You should drink the blessed mantra water. This is very good. We will send it to you.
You don’t need to think [your death] is bad. In fact, the way to look at it is that now you can go to the pure land faster or have better conditions to practice Dharma again with a precious human rebirth. So don’t look at this as bad. In one way if you really think about it, you will get to the pure land faster. That is the way to think now.
It would be good if you can go to Nepal, so that you can go around Boudha Stupa and Swayambunath Stupa.
For practice, if you can, sometimes do Vajrayogini self-initiation and Heruka self-initiation (it can be short one). Also do Vajrasattva and the Thirty-five Buddhas practice, especially focusing on the confession. If you can, confess to your gurus, and within the Thirty-five Buddhas, really focus on the confession.
Now spend time really focusing on your deity, whether it’s Vajrayogini or Heruka, whichever you feel closest to. Recite the mantra a lot and of course, when the time of passing away comes, really meditate on the deity.
If possible, you and another nun can recite the pain mantras. Recite the sutra Entering the City of Vaishali three or four times or maybe you need it more, like six, seven or eight times. If possible, do that for the pain. [You can find the audio as an MP3 file, Recitations for Alleviating Pain, in the FPMT Catalogue. To find the PDF file of the sutra Entering the City of Vaishali, go to "Sutras and Dharanis" in the FPMT Catalogue.]
You need to rejoice, because you met the Dharma and dedicated your life to Lama Yeshe and myself for so many years. From that you have collected the most merit, the most purification. Rejoice in this. You have been working for the center for many years, working for His Holiness, following His Holiness’ advice and fulfilling the holy wishes. Think like that over and over again, rejoicing day and night.
Maybe also think that Guru Heruka is above your crown all the time, then your consciousness can become oneness with Guru Heruka. Always think that. If possible, be ready [for your consciousness] to shoot up to the heart [of Guru Heruka]. Always be ready for this, then in the aspect of the deity you are able to go to the pure land, where dakas and dakinis will be doing prostrations and playing music for you.
You will see Guru Heruka in the pure land; the deity will be there to receive you and give teachings. The main thing is for your mind to become oneness with Guru Heruka. You must think that as much as possible, without being distracted. As much as possible, try that.
You are most fortunate. This is the best way of ending your life, a most unbelievable, unbelievable, worthwhile life. You are still continuing to follow your guru’s advice; you worked very hard and fulfilled my wishes. You worked for so many years for all sentient beings and the teachings of the Buddha. It’s been a most unbelievably beneficial life.
If you can reach Nepal—it’s not a big thing, but this is most important. You can carry a rucksack and go to Nepal. I’m joking.
With much love and prayers
Lama Zopa
P.S. It is most important to apologize. I am not Heruka, but before you die you need to confess to the gurus that you have a Dharma connection with. That is very important purification. Confess any negative karma done in connection with the guru, any degenerate vows—pratimoksha, bodhicitta and tantric vows—and any negative karma done with the guru.
You should feel happy. Rejoice all the time in all the good things you have done in your life, working for the Dharma, benefiting sentient beings and fulfilling the guru’s advice. This purifies your heavy negative karma and obscurations collected since beginningless rebirths.