My most dear, most kind, most precious one,
I am very sorry it took so long to reply to your message.

First, the most important thing is Dharma. Don’t worry that Gen Lama Lhundrup has passed away. That just means you don’t see the same body, but the mind still exists. Their mind is always with you, and when you have pure karma to see, then you will see them. That is the same as Buddha; the numberless buddhas and bodhisattvas are always with you, you are not alone. You are not alone, they are always with you. Lama Lhundrup can take different bodies each time or at the same time; numberless different bodies for the benefit of sentient beings.

So you don’t have to stop Dharma, that is ridiculous. That is worse than if you stopped eating food. Stopping Dharma is worse than death. Death is not bad, because even if you die you can go to the pure land or receive a perfect human rebirth. Death is not bad for people who practice Dharma. For those who have realizations, death doesn’t matter. Even for the person who wants to get reborn in lower realms, purposely for sentient beings, then death isn’t bad.

There are some practitioners who want to be born in hell for sentient beings and suffer for sentient beings. This is what bodhisattvas think and dedicate for. This is what Kadampa Geshe Chekawa prayed for, but he didn’t succeed. Even though he prayed for that, when the time of death came, it didn’t happen, and he saw the pure land. He told his student, who was living in the thirty-six vows, to make offerings at the altar with prayers that he would be reborn in the hell realms, but then he had a vision of the pure land, even though he had been praying to be born in hell for sentient beings.

I checked regarding your health and what comes out is pujas and mantra water. It comes out very good is for you to drink mantra water. This is water I have blessed with mantras. I will recite the White Umbrella prayer for you. There is another puja called Sel Chen. I will do this for you.

You should also have the extensive Medicine Buddha puja done by the Kopan nuns or monks. There is a cost for the puja, so if you don’t have enough money you can discuss with Kopan joining with somebody else and having the same puja done for both of you. The main thing is that your name has to be clearly mentioned to the monks, so that they can think about and dedicate for you. If you can cover the expense then you can do it yourself, otherwise try to join with others.

For your job and money situation, what comes out is for you to read the Arya Sanghata Sutra. It’s important to read the sutra with bodhicitta motivation, to free the numberless sentient beings from the oceans of suffering and bring them to enlightenment. Then the next dedication can be for your job and so forth, whatever you want for success.

So please try like this, and as much as possible live your life with the thought of bodhicitta night and day.

With much love and prayers ...