Student's Letter

I am in the process of being finally diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease, a degenerative disease that will eventually leave my whole body completely paralysed, including an inability to speak and swallow. I currently have symptoms in my leg, left hand, and throat and the doctors have said people normally die approximately 29 months after diagnosis.

Medically, there’s no cure and no way to stop the paralysis continuing throughout the body. I’m finding it particularly stressful because my life was previously focused on physical expression and movement, as a principal ballerina. I was mentored by Rudolph Nureyev when I was a young ballerina and danced with both Nureyev and Margot Fontaine in her early years, and continued with a national ballet until my retirement from dancing.

I am going to take refuge with the geshe I know soon, and I would also like to request help from you in dealing with the disease as it progresses.

I have the following questions:

1. What practices would you recommend for me to do or for me to sponsor others to do?
2. Is there a possibility of healing this or is it best to just accept it?
3. How do I help other people if I can’t do anything for them—how do I help those closest to me who have to look after me?
4. How do I keep my mind calm and functioning when my body is shutting down—can the mind become your whole universe?

RInpoche's Response

Dear one,
I was only now able to reply to your letter. I was extremely worried at how long it has taken for me to reply. Please accept my apologies for the long delay in replying. We have been doing animal liberations and dedicating them to you (three times each month) since you wrote, and are continuing to do this. Let me know if you need any of the practices below explained further.

Below are the practices that came out best for you to do:

1. Recite Most Secret Hayagriva mantra.
2. Request the geshe to do Hayagriva ga gön puja for you.
3. Recite Padmasambhava prayer for quick success, fulfilling all one’s wishes.
4. Recite one mala of Naga King mantra every day, or as you can.
5. Recite fifteen malas of Naga King name mantra every day, or as you can.

While reciting the above two mantras, think that you are being purified of all sickness, spirit harm, negative karma and defilements. Most importantly think that the cause, which is negative karma, is being purified. Also, you can think of all other sentient beings who have the same disease are being purified. You can think some malas are purifying other sentient beings and some malas are purifying you.

  6. Request the geshe to recite a text (this is a prayer for healing, sickness, death, and danger) six times. I will contact the geshe and make this request.
  7.  Study my book Ultimate Healing and use the meditations in it.
  8.  Do Naga torma practice, if you can, or request the geshes to do it for you.
  9.  Do Naga incense puja if you can, or request the geshes to do it for you. You need to get special incense for this, which is available through Kopan Monastery. This is special incense that the nagas like. Also, you must do this on special day. You can check the Tibetan calendar, which has the dates in it for when to do naga incense practice.
  10.  Recite the Diamond Cutter Sutra seven times. This should be done as quickly as possible.
  11.  Request the geshe to do lu zong puja.
  12.  If possible, do Hayagriva, Garuda, Vajrapani retreat. If you are able to do it, you can take the jenang and then do the retreat. Recite 100,000 mantras. If you can’t do it, then at least recite the mantra and do the practice, if you are able. It would be good to do this as quickly as possible as well.

I am also making prayers for you.

With much love and prayers...