Becoming Your Own Therapist
An Introduction to the Buddhist Way of Thought
Lama Thubten Yeshe
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First published in 1998, this booklet contains three
public talks by Lama Yeshe on the general topic of Buddhism.
Each lecture is followed by a question and answer session.
Lama and his audiences always enjoyed the give and take
of these lively exchanges, and pretty much anything
went. Although these talks were called lectures, Lama
would have each of us use them as a mirror for our minds
and look beyond the words, find ourselves, and become
our own psychologist.
See here for more information
about translations of this text, and for links to listen
to this lecture online.
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Index
Chapter Two - Religion: The Path Of Inquiry
People have many different ideas about the nature of religion
in general and Buddhism in particular. Those who consider
religion and Buddhism at only the superficial, intellectual
level will never understand the true significance of either.
And those whose view of religion is even more superficial
than that will not even consider Buddhism to be a religion
at all.
First of all, in Buddhism we’re not that interested in talking
about the Buddha himself. Nor was he; he wasn’t interested
in people believing in him, so to this day Buddhism has never
encouraged its followers simply to believe in the Buddha.
We have always been more interested in understanding human
psychology, the nature of the mind. Thus, Buddhist practitioners
always try to understand their own mental attitudes, concepts,
perceptions and consciousness. Those are the things that really
matter.
Otherwise, if you forget about yourself and your delusions
and focus instead on some lofty idea—like “What is Buddha?”—your
spiritual journey becomes a dream-like hallucination. That’s
possible; be careful. In your mind there’s no connection between
Buddha, or God, and yourself. They’re completely separate
things: you’re completely down here; Buddha, or God, is completely
up there. There’s no connection whatsoever. It’s not realistic
to think that way. It’s too extreme. You’re putting one thing
down at the lower extreme and the other way up at the upper.
In Buddhism, we call that kind of mind dualistic.
Furthermore, if humans are completely negative by nature,
what is the point of seeking a higher idea? Anyway, ideas
are not realizations. People always want to know all about
the highest attainments or the nature of God, but such intellectual
knowledge has nothing to do with their lives or their minds.
True religion should be the pursuit of self-realization, not
an exercise in the accumulation of facts.
In Buddhism, we are not particularly interested in the quest
for intellectual knowledge alone. We are much more interested
in understanding what’s happening here and now, in comprehending
our present experiences, what we are at this very moment,
our fundamental nature. We want to know how to find satisfaction,
how to find happiness and joy instead of depression and misery,
how to overcome the feeling that our nature is totally negative.
Lord Buddha himself taught that basically, human nature
is pure, egoless, just as the sky is by nature clear, not
cloudy. Clouds come and go, but the blue sky is always there;
clouds don’t alter the fundamental nature of the sky. Similarly,
the human mind is fundamentally pure, not one with the ego.
Anyway, whether you are a religious person or not, if you
can’t separate yourself from your ego, you’re completely misguided;
you’ve created for yourself a totally unrealistic philosophy
of life that has nothing whatsoever to do with reality.
Instead of grasping at intellectual knowledge, wanting to
know what’s the highest thing going, you’d be much better
off trying to gain an understanding of the basic nature of
your own mind and how to deal with it right now. It is so
important to know how to act effectively: method is the key
to any religion, the most important thing to learn.
Say you hear about an amazing treasure house containing
jewels for the taking but don’t have the key to the door:
all your fantasies about how you’ll spend your new-found wealth
are a complete hallucination. Similarly, fantasizing about
wonderful religious ideas and peak experiences but having
no interest in immediate action or the methods of attainment
is totally unrealistic. If you have no method, no key, no
way to bring your religion into your everyday life, you’d
be better off with Coca-Cola. At least that quenches your
thirst. If your religion is simply an idea, it’s as insubstantial
as air. You should be very careful that you understand exactly
what religion is and how it should be practiced.
Lord Buddha himself said, “Belief is not important. Don’t
believe what I say just because I said it.” These were his
dying words. “I have taught many different methods because
there are many different individuals. Before you embrace any
of them, use your wisdom to check that they fit your psychological
make-up, your own mind. If my methods seem to make sense and
work for you, by all means adopt them. But if you don’t relate
to them, even though they might sound wonderful, leave them
be. They were taught for somebody else.”
These days, you can’t tell most people that they should
believe something just because Buddha said, because God said.
It’s not enough for them. They’ll reject it; they want proof.
But those who cannot understand that the nature of their mind
is pure will be unable to see the possibility of discovering
their innate purity and will lose whatever chance they had
to do so. If you think that your mind is fundamentally negative,
you tend to lose all hope.
Of course, the human mind has both positive and negative
sides. But the negative is transient, very temporary. Your
up and down emotions are like clouds in the sky; beyond them,
the real, basic human nature is clear and pure.
Many people misunderstand Buddhism. Even some professors
of Buddhist studies look at just the words and interpret what
the Buddha taught very literally. They don’t understand his
methods, which are the real essence of his teachings. In my
opinion, the most important aspect of any religion is its
methods: how to put that religion into your own experience.
The better you understand how to do that, the more effective
your religion becomes. Your practice becomes so natural, so
realistic; you easily come to understand your own nature,
your own mind, and you don’t get surprised by whatever you
find in it. Then, when you understand the nature of your own
mind, you’ll be able to control it naturally; you won’t have
to push so hard; understanding naturally brings control.
Many people will imagine that control of the mind is some
kind of tight, restrictive bondage. Actually, control is a
natural state. But you’re not going to say that, are you?
You’re going to say that the mind is uncontrolled by nature,
that it is natural for the mind to be uncontrolled. But it’s
not. When you realize the nature of your uncontrolled mind,
control comes as naturally as your present uncontrolled state
arises. Moreover, the only way to gain control over your mind
is to understand its nature. You can never force your mind,
your internal world, to change. Nor can you purify your mind
by punishing yourself physically, by beating your body. That’s
totally impossible. Impurity, sin, negativity or whatever
else you want to call it is psychological, a mental phenomenon,
so you can’t stop it physically. Purification requires a skillful
combination of method and wisdom.
To purify your mind, you don’t have to believe in something
special up there—God, or Buddha. Don’t worry about that. When
you truly realize the up and down nature of your everyday
life, the characteristic nature of your own mental attitude,
you’ll automatically want to implement a solution.
These days, many people are disillusioned with religion;
they seem to think it doesn’t work. Religion works. It offers
fantastic solutions to all your problems. The problem is that
people don’t understand the characteristic nature of religion,
so they don’t have the will to implement its methods.
Consider the materialistic life. It’s a state of complete
agitation and conflict. You can never fix things to be the
way you want. You can’t just wake up in the morning and decide
exactly how you want your day to unfold. Forget about weeks,
months, or years; you can’t even predetermine one day. If
I were to ask you right now if you can get up in the morning
and set exactly how your day was going to go, how you were
going to feel each moment, what would you say? There’s no
way you can do that, is there?
No matter how much you make yourself materially comfortable,
no matter how you arrange your house—you have this, you have
that; you put one thing here, you put another there—you can
never manipulate your mind in the same way. You can never
determine the way you’re going to feel all day. How can you
fix your mind like that? How can you say, “Today I’m going
to be like this”? I can tell you with absolute certainty,
as long as your mind is uncontrolled, agitated and dualistic,
there’s no way; it’s impossible. When I say this, I’m not
putting you down; I’m just talking about the way the mind
works. What all this goes to show is that no matter how you
make yourself materially comfortable, no matter how much you
tell yourself, “Oh, this makes me happy, today I’m going to
be happy all day long,” it’s impossible to predetermine your
life like that. Automatically, your feelings keep changing,
changing, changing. This shows that the materialistic life
doesn’t work. However, I don’t mean that you should renounce
the worldly life and become ascetics. That’s not what I’m
saying. My point is that if you understand spiritual principles
correctly and act accordingly, you will find much greater
satisfaction and meaning in your life than you will by relying
on the sense world alone. The sense world alone cannot satisfy
the human mind.
Thus, the only purpose for the existence of what we call
religion is for us to understand the nature of our own psyche,
our own mind, our own feelings. Whatever name we give to our
spiritual path, the most important thing is that we get to
know our own experiences, our own feelings. Therefore, the
lamas’ experience of Buddhism is that instead of emphasizing
belief, it places prime importance on personal experimentation,
putting Dharma methods into action and assessing the effect
they have on our minds: do these methods help? Have our minds
changed or are they just as uncontrolled as they ever were?
This is Buddhism, and this method of checking the mind is
called meditation.
It’s an individual thing; you can’t generalize. It all comes
down to personal understanding, personal experience. If your
path is not providing solutions to your problems, answers
to your questions, satisfaction to your mind, you must check
up. Perhaps there’s something wrong with your point of view,
your understanding. You can’t necessarily conclude that there’s
something wrong with your religion just because you tried
it and it didn’t work. Different individuals have their own
ideas, views, and understanding of religion, and can make
mistakes. Therefore, make sure that the way you understand
your religion’s ideas and methods is correct. If you make
the right effort on the basis of right understanding, you
will experience deep inner satisfaction. Thus, you’ll prove
to yourself that satisfaction does not depend on anything
external. True satisfaction comes from the mind.
We often feel miserable and our world seems upside-down
because we believe that external things will work exactly
as we plan and expect them to. We expect things that are changeable
by nature not to change, impermanent things to last forever.
Then, when they do change, we get upset. Getting upset when
something in your house breaks shows that you didn’t really
understand its impermanent nature. When it’s time for something
to break, it’s going to break, no matter what you expect.
Nevertheless, we still expect material things to last. Nothing
material lasts; it’s impossible. Therefore, to find lasting
satisfaction, you should put more effort into your spiritual
practice and meditation than into manipulating the world around
you. Lasting satisfaction comes from your mind, from within
you. Your main problem is your uncontrolled, dissatisfied
mind, whose nature is suffering.
Knowing this, when any problem arises, instead of getting
upset because of your unfulfilled expectations and busily
distracting yourself with some external activity, relax, sit
down and examine the situation with your own mind. That is
a much more constructive way of dealing with problems and
pacifying your mind. Moreover, when you do this, you are allowing
your innate knowledge-wisdom to grow. Wisdom can never grow
in an agitated, confused and restless mind.
Agitated mental states are a major obstacle to your gaining
of wisdom. So too is the misconception that your ego and your
mind’s nature are one and the same. If that’s what you believe,
you’ll never be able to separate them and reach beyond ego.
As long as you believe that you are totally in the nature
of sin and negativity you will never be able to transcend
them. What you believe is very important and very effectively
perpetuates your wrong views. In the West, people seem to
think that if you aren’t one with your ego, you can’t have
a life, get a job or do anything. That’s a dangerous delusion—you
can’t separate ego from mind, ego from life. That’s your big
problem. You think that if you lose your ego you’ll lose your
personality, your mind, your human nature.
That’s simply not true; you shouldn’t worry about that.
If you lose your ego you’ll be happy—you should be happy.
But of course, this raises the question, what is the ego?
In the West, people seem to have so many words for the ego,
but do they know what the ego really is? Anyway, it doesn’t
matter how perfect your English is, the ego is not a word;
the word is just a symbol. The actual ego is within you: it’s
the wrong conception that your self is independent, permanent
and inherently existent. In reality, what you believe to be
“I” doesn’t exist.
If I were to ask everybody here to check deeply, beyond
words, what they thought the ego was, each person would have
a different idea. I’m not joking; this is my experience. You
should check your own. We always say, very superficially,
“That’s your ego,” but we have no idea of what the ego really
is. Sometimes we even use the term pejoratively: “Oh, don’t
worry, that’s just your ego,” or something like that, but
if you check up more deeply, you’ll see that the average person
thinks that the ego is his personality, his life. Men feel
that if they were to lose their ego, they’d lose their personalities,
they’d no longer be men; women feel that were they to lose
their ego they’d lose their female qualities. That’s not true;
not true at all. Still, based on Westerners’ interpretation
of life and ego, that’s pretty much what it comes down to.
They think the ego is something positive in the sense that
it’s essential for living in society; that if you don’t have
an ego, you can’t mix in society. You check up more deeply—on
the mental level, not the physical. It’s interesting.
Even many psychologists describe the ego at such a superficial
level that you’d think it was a physical entity. From the
Buddhist point of view, the ego is a mental concept, not a
physical thing. Of course, symptoms of ego activity can manifest
externally, such as when, for example, someone’s angry and
his face and body reflect that angry vibration. But that’s
not anger itself; it’s a symptom of anger. Similarly, ego
is not its external manifestations but a mental factor, a
psychological attitude. You can’t see it from the outside.
When you meditate, you can see why today you’re up, tomorrow
you’re down: mood swings are caused by your mind. People who
don’t check within themselves come up with very superficial
reasons like, “I’m unhappy today because the sun’s not shining,”
but most of the time your ups and downs are due to primarily
psychological factors.
When a strong wind blows, the clouds vanish and blue sky
appears. Similarly, when the powerful wisdom that understands
the nature of the mind arises, the dark clouds of ego disappear.
Beyond the ego—the agitated, uncontrolled mind—lie everlasting
peace and satisfaction. That’s why Lord Buddha prescribed
penetrative analysis of both your positive and your negative
sides. In particular, when your negative mind arises, instead
of being afraid, you should examine it more closely.
You see, Buddhism is not at all a tactful religion, always
trying to avoid giving offense. Buddhism addresses precisely
what you are and what your mind is doing in the here and now.
That’s what makes it so interesting. You can’t expect to hear
only positive things. Sure you have a positive side, but what
about the negative aspects of your nature? To gain an equal
understanding of both, an understanding of the totality of
your being, you have to look at your negative characteristics
as well as the positive ones, and not try to cover them up.
I don’t have much more to say right now, but I’d be happy
to try to answer some questions.
Q: Lama, were you saying that we should express rather
than suppress our negative actions, that we should let the
negativity come out?
Lama: It depends. There are two things. If the negative
emotion has already bubbled to the surface, it’s probably
better to express it in some way, but it’s preferable if you
can deal with it before it has reached that level. Of course,
if you don’t have a method of dealing with strong negative
emotions and you try to bottle them up deep inside, eventually
that can lead to serious problems, such as an explosion of
anger that causes someone to pick up a gun and shoot people.
What Buddhism teaches is a method of examining that emotion
with wisdom and digesting it through meditation, which allows
the emotion to simply dissolve. Expressing strong negative
emotions externally leaves a tremendously deep impression
on your consciousness. This kind of imprint makes it easier
for you to react in the same harmful way again, except that
the second time it may be even more powerful than the first.
This sets up a karmic chain of cause and effect that perpetuates
such negative behavior. Therefore, you have to exercise skill
and judgment in dealing with negative energy, learn when and
how to express it and, especially, know how to recognize it
early in the piece and digest it with wisdom.
Q: Could you please explain the relationship between
Buddhist meditation techniques and hatha yoga?
Lama: In Buddhism we tend to focus more on penetrative
introspection than on bodily movement, although there are
certain practices where the meditation techniques are enhanced
by physical exercises. In general, Buddhist meditation teaches
us to look within at what we are, to understand our own true
nature. All the same, Buddhist meditation does not necessarily
imply sitting in the lotus position with your eyes closed—meditation
can be brought into every aspect of your daily life. It is
important to be aware of everything you do so that you don’t
unconsciously harm either yourself or others. Whether you
are walking, talking, working, eating...whatever you do, be
conscious of the actions of your body, speech and mind.
Q: Do Buddhists control their prana [wind energy]
completely through the mind?
Lama: Yes. If you can control your mind, you can
control anything. It’s impossible to control your physical
body without first controlling your mind. If you try to control
your body forcibly, if you pump yourself up with no understanding
of the mind-body relationship, it can be very dangerous and
cause your mind great harm.
Q: Can you reach as deep a state of meditation through
walking as you can through sitting?
Lama: Sure, it’s theoretically possible, but it depends
upon the individual. For beginners, it is obviously much easier
to attain deeper states of concentration through sitting meditation.
Experienced meditaters, however, can maintain single-pointed
concentration, a fully integrated mind, whatever they’re doing,
including walking. Of course, if someone’s mind is completely
disturbed, even sitting meditation may not be enough for him
to integrate his mind. One of the hallmarks of Buddhism is
that you can’t say that everybody should do this, everybody
should be like that; it depends on the individual. However,
we do have a clearly defined, step-like path of meditation
practice: first you develop this, then you move on to that,
and so on through the various levels of concentration. Similarly,
the entire path to enlightenment—we call it the lam-rim— has
been laid out in a graded, logical fashion so that each person
can find his or her own level and take it from there.
Q: Lama, can the various negative thoughts that arise
in our minds come from a source outside of ourselves, from
other people, or perhaps from spirits?
Lama: Well, that’s a very good question. The real
source, the deep root of negativity, lies within our own minds,
but for this to manifest usually requires interaction with
a cooperative, environmental cause, such as other people or
the material world. For example, some people experience mood
swings as a result of astrological influences, such as the
vibration of planetary movement. Others’ emotions fluctuate
because of hormonal changes in their bodies. Such experiences
do not come from their minds alone but through the interaction
of physical and mental energy. Of course, we would also say
that the fact that we find ourselves in a body susceptible
to this kind of change originally comes from our minds. But
I don’t think Lord Buddha would say that there is some outer
spirit harming you like that. What is possible is that your
inner energy is relating to some outer energy, and that it
is that interaction that makes you sick.
You can see from your own life experiences how the environment
can affect you. When you’re amongst peaceful, generous, happy
people, you’re inclined to feel happy and peaceful yourself.
When you’re amongst angry, aggressive people, you tend to
become like them. The human mind is like a mirror. A mirror
does not discriminate but simply reflects whatever’s before
it, no matter whether it’s horrible or wonderful. Similarly,
your mind takes on the aspect of your surroundings, and if
you’re not aware of what’s going on, your mind can fill with
garbage. Therefore, it is very important to be conscious of
your surroundings and how they affect your mind.
The thing that you have to understand about religion is
how your religion relates to your own mind, how it relates
to the life you lead. If you can manage that, religion is
fantastic; the realizations are there. You don’t need to emphasize
belief in God, or Buddha, or sin or whatever; don’t worry
about all that. Just act out of right understanding as best
you can and you’ll get results, even today. Forget about super
consciousness or super universal love—universal love grows
slowly, steadily, gradually. If, however, you’re just clinging
to the notion, “Oh, fantastic! Infinite knowledge, infinite
power,” you’re simply on a power trip. Of course, spiritual
power really does exist, but the only way you can get it is
by engaging in the proper spiritual actions. Power comes from
within you; part of you becomes power, too. Don’t think that
the only true power is up there, somewhere in the sky. You
have power; your mind is power.
Q: Perception is one of the five aggregates that,
according to Buddhist philosophy, constitute a person. How
does it work?
Lama: Yes, that’s another good question. Most of
the time, our perception is illusory; we’re not perceiving
reality. Sure, we see the sense world—attractive shapes, beautiful
colors, nice tastes and so forth—but we don’t actually perceive
the real, true nature of the shapes, colors and tastes we
see. That’s how most of the time our perception is mistaken.
So our mistaken perception processes the information supplied
by our five senses and transmits incorrect information to
our mind, which reacts under the influence of the ego. The
result of all this is that most of the time we are hallucinating,
not seeing the true nature of things, not under- standing
the reality of even the sense world.
Q: Does past karma affect our perception?
Lama: Yes, of course. Past karma affects our perception
a lot. Our ego grasps at our uncontrolled perception’s view,
and our mind just follows along: that entire uncontrolled
situation is what we call karma. Karma is not simply some
irrelevant theory; it’s the everyday perceptions in which
we live, that’s all.
Q: Lama, what is the relationship between the body
and mind as far as food is concerned.
Lama: Body is not mind, mind is not body, but the
two have a very special connection. They are very closely
linked, very sensitive to changes in each other. For example,
when people take drugs, the substance doesn’t affect the mind
directly. But since the mind is connected to the body’s nervous
system and sense organs, changes induced in the nervous system
by the drug throw it out of harmony and cause the mind to
hallucinate. There’s a very strong connection between the
body and the mind. In Tibetan tantric yoga, we take advantage
of that strong connection: by concentrating strongly on the
body’s psychic channels we can affect the mind accordingly.
Therefore, even in everyday life, the food you eat and the
other things your body touches have an effect on your mind.
Q: Is fasting good for you?
Lama: Fasting is not all that important unless you
are engaged in certain special mind training practices. Then,
fasting may even be essential. This is certainly the lamas’
experience. For example, if you eat and drink all day and
then try to meditate in the evening, your concentration will
be very poor. Therefore, when we’re doing serious meditation,
we eat only once a day. In the morning, we just drink tea;
at midday we have lunch; and in the evening, instead of eating,
we again drink tea. For us, this kind of routine makes life
desirably simple and the body very comfortable; but for someone
not engaged in mind training, it would probably feel like
torture. Normally, we don’t advocate fasting. We tell people
not to punish themselves but simply to be happy and reasonable
and to keep their bodies as healthy as they can. If your body
gets weak, your mind becomes useless. When your mind becomes
useless, your precious human life becomes useless. But on
special occasions, when fasting enhances your meditation practice,
when there’s a higher purpose, I would say yes, fasting can
be good for you.
Thank you very much. If there are no further questions, I
won’t keep you any longer. Thank you very much.
Brisbane, Australia, 28 April 1975
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