My very dear Joanne,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. Even if you are not practicing Tara, regretfully, Tara has appeared to you. Some people do a retreat on one deity and then see another one. That can happen.

I just did divination and it comes out that you need to make 4,000 long life tsa-tsas for next year.

One simple way to do this is to make a mold of a small White Tara, Namgyalma, or Amitayus, with many images lined up. You can have 30, 40, 50, 60, or 70 images in one mould. That might be easier and you are able to finish them more quickly. Or you can use many molds, put them on a big table, then make plaster paste, and fill them all up.

The second thing you need to do is to print 1,000 long life sutras.

Then, you should recite the long life mantra of Namgyalma.

You need to do Chi Lu (Betraying Death) and Lagyu Tsi Gu (Hooking the Life) pujas. You can discuss these with the geshe at your center.

Also, you can read the Diamond Cutter Sutra every day; this is very good.

You need to do Namgyal Tong Cho Puja (1,000 offerings to Namgyalma). You can ask the monasteries to do this for you (like Sera Je Bati Khamtsen). This is my khamtsen at Sera Je, and you can ask them to do it for you. You will need to make an offering for the puja, it should not be very much, for the torma offering, tea offering to the monks, etc. You can request the bill be sent to you.

All these pujas are for your long life for next year. If you can, do them before the start of the Tibetan new year.

So, it is possible that Tara wants to help you. The cause is that you have a karmic connection with Tara and she wants to help you and save your life because you have a good heart and think of others. If you are thinking of others and practicing bodhicitta, Tara is happy and can appear to you.

With much love and prayers...