My dear one,
Billions of thanks for writing and explaining that you tried very hard to do nyung nä. That is the most worthwhile thing, it purifies so many eons of negative karma, and you collect unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable, most unbelievable merits. It becomes much quicker to free all the hell beings, hungry ghosts, animals, human beings, suras, asuras and intermediate state beings from the oceans of samsaric suffering, and then quicker to achieve enlightenment. Of course, the past karma is heavy so you experience all these difficulties, but that is generally good because it means you have purified past negative karma through Dharma practice.

As you know, purification has many different levels. First, if we purify past negative karma, then we never have to experience suffering in the lower realms in the next lives, and also in the human realm in this life. Secondly, we would have to suffer in the lower realms for so many eons, but through Dharma practice we don’t need to experience that, so we experience it now in this life as some disease. So that helps us to not get born in lower realms, to not experience the suffering for eons, then next time we get reborn in the lower realms, it is just for a minute or a second, like throwing a stone. We don’t stay there, it hits just quickly, with a duration like that. Next time we take rebirth in the lower realms, we will experience suffering for some time, but it will be much lighter.

There can be many different levels of purification, therefore you should rejoice, and look at it as positive. Look at your whole life as positive and look at all your sickness as great purification. I am so inspired by your introduction—that you meditate every day; that you try to meditate. It is so good that you are Buddhist, that you have met the Mahayana sutra teachings and Mahayana tantra teachings, and that you recite mantra and so forth.

In reality, even if you die by doing nyung näs, it’s nothing to regret. It means you won’t get reborn in the lower realms. Even by doing one nyung nä well, you get reborn in the pure land, so no question about doing three nyung näs. It's amazing, amazing, amazing. It’s a quick way to be free from the oceans of samsaric sufferings, as I mentioned before. It’s a quick way to be born in the pure land; a quick way to be enlightened. Even if you die during the nyung nä, it is an incredibly worthwhile thing, so you should know that it is a very good thing. If you die doing a nyung nä, it doesn’t matter.

Even though you can't do the nyung näs at the moment, I won't ever accept to take back your Chenrezig vows. I will never take them back, that is completely silly. It doesn’t matter if you can't do nyung nä now in your life. Whatever you have done in the past is so good, and later, when you can, try to do more. That would be so good, so please do that.

Then for example even if you have to take medicine on the fasting day—in the afternoon on the fasting day, or in the morning and afternoon, or on both days—so without choice, without freedom you have to take medicine, that’s OK. So from the eight Mahayana precepts, don't take the fasting vow, it doesn't happen, but you can take the rest of the seven vows. You can take these and you can still do nyung nä like that.

Even if you can't do prostrations by standing up, you can sit down and put your palms together and visualize numberless bodies doing prostrations to Chenrezig. By reciting the prayer, with numberless bodies in the four directions filling the whole sky, you get the action merits, most unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable merits of however many bodies you visualize. You get the merits, as Lama Tsongkhapa mentioned.

I am very happy coming to Bendigo.

With much love and prayers...