My very dear one,
Thank you very much for your kind letter. Sorry for the long delay in replying.

Regarding your question about guidance regarding death and dying (having just finished your Masters on this)—make notes of your experience so that you can help others and so that your notes can help others. These can be used to help people in the future

Regarding your ten-day retreat, it would be very good if you can do a lamrim retreat, doing prostrations and reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas’ names, Guru Puja, or if this is too long, then Lama Tsongkhapa Guru Yoga, also Six-Session Guru Yoga (as you have taken highest tantra initiations). In each session you do guru yoga as a base—spend a little time making the mandala offering. You can do prostrations within the session or before, then before the guru absorbs into you, this is when you stop and meditate on the lamrim. You can read lamrim books, either “the Great Lamrim” (Lamrim Chenmo) or Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand. Each session, you can read from this, but don’t read like you are doing a puja, read like it is a meditation. Read slowly and think about the meaning, relate it to your own life. Then make notes in a book of any questions that come up. Also, you can note any very moving experiences that you have. This can help you in your meditations. Please put effort into bodhicitta, renunciation, guru devotion, emptiness, and so forth.

After lunch you can circumambulate the stupa, reciting the Thirty-five Buddhas’ names, Vajrasattva mantra, or Chenrezig mantra (OM MANI PADME HUM).

Do everything, every action, as much as possible, for sentient beings, for numberless hell beings, hungry ghosts, humans, suras, asuras, and intermediate state beings—everyone except yourself. When you do this for others, then you are taken care of by the buddhas and bodhisattvas and sentient beings.

Before going to bed recite the King of Prayers, or you can recite a different prayer from the eight great prayers. You can also recite the Lama Tsongkhapa prayer; this is a very powerful one. At night, recite one mala of the long Vajrasattva mantra with the four powers as well. This would be great.

As much as possible, try to do everything with a bodhicitta motivation. From when you wake up until you go to bed, do everything with bodhicitta.

This should be a great retreat, because you are going through the whole lamrim, it should be unbelievable. Maybe when you come down from the retreat center your feet won’t touch the ground. You can come down without needing a car.

Regarding your yidam, I checked, and for your quickest enlightenment, so that you can enlighten all sentient beings most quickly, the deities to practice are:

• Guhyasamaja
• Yamantaka
• Heruka
• Vajrayogini

Whichever of these you feel more strongly about, that is your yidam. Then, in the future, because all of these came out as good, you can take the other initiations, chant the mantras, etc. But the one you feel strongest about you can do as your main practice.

With much love and prayers ...